Two THOUSAND hittarinis

At this time, we are approximately 300 hits away from being at the wonderful round number of 2000. I would like to announce that the same contest applies for this, our second, milestone. If you are an Idahoan Muscovite personage and you have the extreme fortune of being the two-thousandth hitter I will do one of several things:

If you are a dude I will give you some of my excellent advice about how to become a prodigious pogo stick jumper. For your information, this type of skill is highly attractive to the ladyfolk. Or, I'll get you something from "Wheatberries."

If you are a lady I will ask you to stop hitting on us, because that's too funny to pass up. Then, I will buy you whichever coffee you want at "Sister's Brewery." Or, you also still have the "Wheatberries" option.

If you are from and live in my hometown, then I will get you something good from either Jay's Bakery or the Milton Bakery. You choose, and your coolness will be determined by which you choose.

If you don't live in either of these great places, then I will do a post on a topic of your choice (within reason) and make it as ridiculous as I possibly can.

Why Dane is no longer an author on "Help! I've been Flabbergasted!"

It's not because we don't love Dane (Swede) anymore. On the contrary, we love Dane just as much as ever and we would like to wish him a happy birthday (40 min. late, sorry).

It's just that Dane has his own blog that he posts to, and I felt that we shouldn't pressure him anymore to post on this blog.

That, and I like the original picture of Kaleb and me much better. Brings back memories of us being seniors at Trinitas. So there you go.

Sloth strikes back

You remember when I did a post about "Se7en"? And I believe Kaleb told you about the "Sloth" doors. Perhaps you have forgotten. Anyway, there are two doors on my floor, right next to each other, with no labeling whatsoever. I pointed out the general freakiness about a week into the term and Kaleb suggested that it might be the residence of "sloth", strapped to the bed in unspeakable agony and awful freaketry.

Well, we've never seen anyone go in or out of those doors . . . until last night. J-Saud and I were doing the ol' "knock on the door and run like crazy people down the stairs or into the flat because we are scared out of our wits about what may come out of those doors" routine. We do this a lot; pretty regularly over 3 months. Anyway, I was running ahead of Jeremy and fumbling to open the door. When we got in, he told me in a hushed whisper that he saw the door open and light pour forth. You could have heard a child scream, the silence was so complete. Sure enough, there was knocking on our door. We wait a terrified fifteen seconds. I look through the peep hole and it was something so hideous and hairless. . . that it didn't have any hair. In other words, the dude was bald. And then, he laid down his fearful ultimatum - "Could you guys stop knocking on other people's doors." So I just answered, "sure we'll stop."

I did not really have my wits together. I should have maintained deniability. "Uh, I don't know what you are talking about dude." Or, I could at least have told him that his is the only door we knock on. That would have made him feel special. Or especially mad. Anyway, I decided to appease the beast with an easy, albeit boring, answer.

The End

Something very profound - Wait for it, Wait for it

I would like to say something very profound to you today. I had something prepared for this occasion but it was lost. Alas, I am absent-minded.

Instead I'm going to tell you about how Mr. Monty Python made his own special channel on youtube. So I will. Did you know that there is now a Monty Python channel on the UK YouTube? Well, now you do.

Check this out:

I Take an Open Poll

Go to the comments, and tell us your favorite movie of all time. If you can't pick one, pick three. That's all. In 48 hours or so, the three of us (right Swede?) will post our top one or three. The 6 or 7 most common movies will get put in that snazzy little sidebar poll thing, and so we will determine the movie most loved by the readership, so then we can bash it more than the rest, and so further alienate the people we enjoy.  Sounds like fun, eh? 

No but seriously, I think I'll do this once a year or so and then we can see if our overall tastes change. Also, we get to make fun of each other for our favorite movies. It will be amazing! 

I name the Top 10 Weapons in Movies

Alright, time for another top something list of somethings. This round, it's the top 10 list of weapons in film. That's right, the 10 most famous and infamous instruments of destruction in cinema. Now, this list is open to critique and change, even addition should the need be there, because I don't pretend to have extensive movie experience. Just enough to make me dangerous - or at least annoying. Anyhow, here goes. 

Top 10 Most Famous Weapons in Cinema

10. John McClane's Beretta 9mil + 7 Inches Duct Tape

Bruce Willis' performance in Die Hard revolutionized the action movie genre. That last scene -every guy wants that. Save your girl with a pistol that's duct-taped to your back? That's the definition of manliness.  

 

9. The Italian Stallion's Fists

Rocky wasn't just a great boxing movie. It is the boxing movie. Rocky took over boxing films like Kleenax took over tissues. It defined an era and started a genre.

 

8. Bond's Walther PPK

This weapon had to make the list. James' favorite field piece, outdated and painful to use though it is, is an indispensable part of the 007 persona. Besides, this weapon has saved the world so many times it's ridiculous. 

7. Rambo's M60

The quintessential man's philosophy: little bit good, lotta bit better. Especially when it comes to guns. If a sword is decent, a pistol good, and an assault rifle better, let's give a ticked off Nam veteran the biggest machine gun we can find, and have him dismantle a town with it. Sheer genius. 

6. King Arthur's Sword Excalibur 

I know what you're thinking - surely, Clive Owen fan though he may be, Trotter hasn't just put that two-bit tripe-fest King Arthur in a top ten list of anything?! Sigh with relief, as this is the sword from Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail. Come now, any sword that bestows supreme executive power when thrown by some watery tart, as well as being able to take off arms of black knights at the lightest touch, well, that's my kind of sword. 

5. Robin Hood's Bow (as carried by Errol Flynn)

Robin Hood is arguably the ultimate folk hero. Flynn's portrayal is timeless, and set the standard for future adaptations of the tale, as well as for future heros in film. Although the arrows never seemed to draw blood, they were still enough to woo Marian. 

4.  Indiana Jones' Whip

Utterly original, completely unexpected, absolutely brilliant. Indiana Jones was the first real hero to use a whip since Zorro. How successful was it? Suffice it to say that nobody thinks Zorro when they see a whip anymore. They think fedora. 

3. Harry Callahan's .44 Magnum

Whether or not the magnum is the most powerful handgun in the world, or can blow a man's head off, or is even a decent gun, it doesn't really matter. Clint's immortal words cemented forever the place of the .44 in the annals of film. 

2. Any Gun Held by John Wayne

I'm thinking specifically of the Winchester rifles of True Grit, but anything the Duke uses will do. Wayne, like him or not, was the cinematic icon, the Elvis of film. Any weapon he held was made awesome by his touch. Especially those swinging rifles -- reins in his teeth, galloping at the villains, the Duke was the man. 

1. Luke Skywalker's Lightsaber

This is like putting the Beetles at the top of any music list - you just know it's gotta be there. The lightsaber made everything old new again, and proved the timeless elegance and beauty of the swordfight. The grace and visceral energy of Skywalker as he deflects imperial lasers and fights Darth Vader has captivated generation after generation. 

In which I try to say something intelligible (although irrelevant) using only song lyrics

The phone rings in the middle of the night,
My father yells "It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away." That's just the way it is, somethings will never change - while mona lisas and mad hatters, sons of bankers, sons of lawyers
turn around and say good morning to the night. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. But when the sun shines again I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in. Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me. Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night. But now I'm high. I'll be up with the sun, I'm not coming down.

Homosexuality is usually not a choice. . .

But the fact that the orientation itself is most likely involuntary in no way excuses its indulgence (no more than heterosexuals are excused for adultery).

There is a common misconception flying around Christian circles that claims that at some point, every homosexual chose to become homosexual. They intellectually resist any indication to the contrary. If scientists discovered a "gay" gene (possibly the xq28 chromosome) tomorrow, there would be many Christians who would no longer know how to condemn the practice of homosexuality. They've built a huge part of their defense of the Biblical doctrine of marriage on shaky foundations.

These days, we hear a lot about tolerance. The liberals preach it and the conservatives go running out of the room with their hands over their ears. The problem is a faulty understanding of the difference between acceptance and love. The liberals have something right. We should love the homosexual. There is absolutely no justification for holding up a sign that says "God hates fags" at a gay pride parade. Besides being completely wrong, people who do this are sending out a message of hate to a people they are called to love. The liberals therefore equate love with acceptance.

The conservatives have something right too. We don't have to accept homosexuality into our homes and churches. We have a duty to the body of Christ, and to the homosexuals themselves. We are doing them no favors by telling them that there is nothing wrong with their behavior. Practicing homosexuals should be barred from church membership and from partaking of the Lord's Table (just as anyone living in grievous sin should be, homosexuality is not uniquely abominable in God's eyes). However, does a father cease to love his son, because his son is disobedient to him? No, he loves his son; therefore, he sends him to his room without his supper. I would be extremely surprised if anyone was ever positively changed because someone withheld love from him. Donald Miller in "Blue Like Jazz" pointed out how seriously flawed and downright sinful a method it is to seek to change someone through not loving them. It is hopeless and selfish. Love is the social catalyst.

So, liberals love and wrongly accept; conservatives don't love, because they think to love is accept. Have you guessed the solution? It's the only other permutation. Love, but do not accept. Christ says "Come to Me just as you are." He does not say "come to me and you can stay just as you are." When we give the homosexual the latter message, it is a false gospel.

These are some things I have been thinking about lately. Please don't take this as me saying that every liberal, and every conservative is like this. I am obviously painting in very broad strokes and coloring in the lines provided by stereotypes.

Galactophagist (n.)

You heard me - Galactophagist. This is the new word of the day. Some of you philologists might be able to guess this one. Same rules as before (basically, don't be lame by cheating). Go ahead, impress me.

So did I

Well, this means that you now have to learn six random facts about me.

Here goes:

1. When I was a baby I could spin a pacifier around like a propeller (really freaking out, and amusing nursery attendants). I could be a 1000 dollarionaire if my parents had just taped it and sent it to AFV. Some other kid won 1st prize for that stunt recently, and he had half of my spinning talent.

2. I was mock held-up in Paris with a banana. By a very drunk man who thought it was hilarious (but I really wasn't in the mood)

3. I am ridiculously affected by smacking.

4. I analyze things to a ridiculous extent.

5. I like doing voice impressions and fake accents.

6. I used to be called Robbie (until about the 7th grade).


Alright, I tag: MPK, Hannah Noland, My dad, Winston Kimmel, Tyler Knight, Justin Hughes (even though he never reads this and would probably not participate if he did). If you are not one of those people and you were not tagged by Kaleb, go ahead and do your own and pretend like I tagged you.

I got tagged

Okay, so, a while back, Faith of Viva la Vida fame tagged me on her blog. Here's the rules: you list six random things about you, you call out six people you know to do the same. And the unwritten rule is, of course, unlike chain emails, if you don't do it you're sorta the tacky guy on the block. And I ain't that guy. So here it is.

1. I could not stand pizza until the summer after I turned 15. Until this year I hated spaghetti and lasagna. I've never been able to comprehend people's desire for guacamole.

2. I love vinyl records. Rob and I collectively own almost thirty LPs, and they are the way of the future. That's right, the future.

3. Rob and I have a running dare that we won't turn on the heat in our apartment. He said "So when are we gonna turn the heat on?" I responded, "whenever you get cold." He then said: "I can last as long as you can." To which my obvious response was, "and I can last longer than you, so I guess we're good."

4. I have an unreasonable, unpredictable, and totally irrational love for the band Journey.

5. Until this past August, when I moved into the apartment, I've never had my own room. I always shared one with my two younger brothers or sister (at least, as long as I can remember). And, perhaps even weirder, (unless you know my brothers, both the painfully cool Kanaan/Mark and the tragically hip Khristian/whatever annoying name I can come up with) I enjoyed it immensely. I think I'll make my children do the same.

6. My grandaddy makes the best BBQ in the world, and my grandmother makes the best fried chicken. This is the grandaddy who dipped my pacifier in Dr. Pepper when I was but a tyke. I also vividly remember the two times in my life that they have not had DP in their fridge. Those were tragic days.

Okay, so that's it. You now know 6 extremely random yet important factors in my life. I think my favorite part of this list is the descriptors of my brothers. You can commonplace me if you'd like. (sarcasm alert - I really don't think you should, it's not all that great) The beauty of it is, if you know my brothers you know how very, very true those words are. Kanaan is (at least to my nerdy self) always cool, often painfully cool. And Khristian, well, he's just always tragically hip. And yes, you can say that your grandmother or mother or cousin Suzie makes better fried chicken than my grandmother. Just know, deep down in your heart of hearts, that you're wrong. Really, objectively, utterly wrong.

Oh yeah, six people. Hmm. Most people I know that read this blog don't have one. But, all the same, here goes. You guys can post your six in the comments section. And make it interesting, people. Surprise me (Trey, not too much). That said, if you refuse, I'll understand, I'll just call you girl names for the rest of the time I know you (except for Antkowiak - I won't do a thing except ask why, and then in a completely non-aggressive tone of voice).

Bobby Lee, Trey, Will Hughes, Mark (yeah, you Kano), Jeremy Sauder, Tyler Antkowiak.

First word of the day!

Callomania (n.)


I'm starting off with an easy one. Y0u will be permanently banned from this blog if you look up the word on google. Not really (I'm not that strict, I don't know how to do that, and we appreciate all our readers), but come on people; play fair. Furthermore, if you own a copy of "Mrs. Byrne's. . ." please refrain from entering into the fray. Otherwise, dig in!

Mrs. Byrne

Greetings everyone,

I would like to announce that I recently purchased "Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and Preposterous Words." Therefore, every time I feel like it I'm going to post a "word of the day" that I've found in that wonderful catalogue of the absurd.

Agomphious (adj.) - toothless

I make a promise

Alright folks, it's coming up. Our blog scores the big 1000 hits mark. That's right, people have looked in on this all-too-beautiful page 1000 times. So here's the deal. You scroll to the bottom of the page. If you see a golden 1000 staring back at you (or just a gray one - whatever) take a screen shot of it and email it to me or Rob, or let us know in the comments section. But you'd better have proof! (Or be able to swear on your mother's grave and all such and sundry) 

If you are that lucky person, you have two choices. If you're in Moscow, I will buy you a cookie at Wheatberries. Or a foccacia pizza. Whichever you want. If you're in Pensacola/Milton, I will buy you a doughnut at Milton Bakery come Christmastide. If you fit in neither category: first of all who are you, and second of all, you can ask any of us you would like to write on whatever you would like. 

Should nobody catch the magic 1000 (if somebody gets it and doesn't know, or doesn't let us know) and you see 1001, grab it. The nearest person (after 1000, no 999 business) will get the prize in their stead. Alright people. Watch and wait. And keep hitting that refresh button.

I am suspicious of backpacking

Because Rob and Dane posted their Rhetoric declamations, and mine amused me when I wrote it, I will post mine as well. So, here goes. 

        Mr. Timothy Clemans asserts that “everyone should experience the joys and benefits of backpacking.” The heart of my disagreement with him is this simple truth: not everyone should go backpacking. Sure, it’s great for your health to breathe the fresh clear air, spiced with a hint of moose dung, but what about the other side of this issue? Mr. Clemans’ logic, though full of examples, seems short on practical experience. A dozen people can’t walk through a forest, camp, and leave it better than they found it. It just won’t happen. National parks try to limit human impact on the environment, but with little success. In Glacier Bay National Park, Alaska, the National Park Service reports that nearly 10% of camping sites had severe vegetative damage, while 86% had significant human impact. Mr. Clemans himself told a story that demonstrates this. Once when backpacking, he frightened a bald eagle away from the salmon it had just caught. Though the subsequent meal, the experience, and the scenery were, I am sure, great for Mr. Clemans, the eagle was left without a meal. We can enjoy nature without destroying it by backpacking. 

        In addition, Mr. Clemans says in at least four different ways that camping miles away from civilization is therapeutic. Civilization, I would hasten to point out, includes toilets. If you’ve ever had to take care of business on a cold and wet mountain, you know that “therapeutic” is not the word to describe it. “Fun, physical, and rewarding pastime” indeed. 

I give the Flabbergasted Bump

That's right, faithful readership. I'm givin' this video the legendary Flabbergasted Bump™. Watch it, love it, Tell it. That's how this one goes people. You watch it, you just happen to love it, and you end up showing it to 40 of your closest friends, worst enemies, and remote acquaintances, including several relatives. 

A little background on the material: Pastor Doug Wilson (our pastor here in Idaho) recently went on a debate tour with noted atheist Christopher Hitchens. If you don't know who Hitchens is, Google him immediately and read some things about him, maybe not so much by him, especially if you're younger. He can get a little crazy. He's what's commonly called a rabid atheist, as you may see in this video if you're a careful viewer. Anyhows, here it is. Enjoy. 

Don't wake me. . .

I plan on sleeping in. I am almost sick of talking about the late election (even though I really haven't that much), and I am definitely sick of hearing about it. This whole election has put a finer point on something that's been developing for years. Americans put too much hope in elections. Christians put too much hope in Republicans. And of course Democrats are now putting too much hope in change. Isn't that what we've been hearing for so long? Hope for America. Vote For Change.

I'm hoping President Obama will change our minds. I think that he will show Americans that their love affair with change is in reality a love affair with death, and it is certainly nothing new. I think some people will become disillusioned with the savior they elected, and come to know the Savior who elected them.

I think a lot of good will come from this election, but we won't see most of it for a good four years. So, wake me up in four years please.

That Hideous "X"

In my attic in Florida across from the air-hockey/ping-pong table, in front of the TV, to the side of my dad’s music studio, lies a box so hideous that it is only referred to as “X” (along with some random numbers used primarily by snowboarders.) Under those dull attic lights, along with other initiates I have sacrificed many of my precious neurons, to the great god of entertainment.

Now look, I don’t really think there’s anything sinister about playing video games. On the other hand, I don’t think there’s anything beneficial either. An occasional Halo party can be fun; but I disagree with Mr. Truax’s overblown claim that it sponsors lasting friendships. It is quite easy to point at two good friends who get together to play video games, and claim that the video games are responsible for their friendship. In fact, it’s so easy that it’s referred to (for convenience’s sake) as the “ad hoc” fallacy.

I agree with those in the reformed community who claim that video games can be addictive (generally, anything that offers instant gratification has this potential). It appears that Mr. Truax was on a hot-streak of fallacious reasoning when he dismissed this claim because our reformed community likes its alcohol and tobacco. This is called the fallacy of origin, little boys and girls, criticizing a position because of where it originated. The reformed community rightly treats alcohol and tobacco as substances to be used in moderation. We should do the same with video games.

Chicky Flicky

What is a chick flick anyway? Now I hope that the first thing that pops into your mind is not a small boy flicking a small chicken. It's not. A chick flick is a romantic comedy comprised of a guy and a girl who somehow fall in love with each other.

I know that there are bad chick flicks, but there are so many more redeeming chick flicks that we should watch. It was unfortunate to hear Miss Sundet categorize all chick flicks as junk. There are so many good ones: “Pride and Prejudice.” “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” “Sense and Sensibility,” and let us not forget “Cinderella” or “Sleeping Beauty.” Miss Sundet said in her previous declamation that “chick flicks are fluff.” Now that's a bit much. Baby chickens are made of fluff. The point is, I know that chick flicks have predictable plots. I know that the characters are predictable. But that's what makes them so good. In the chick flick “Penelope” the characters are well portrayed. You hate the bad guys, but think they are hilarious at the same time. The film is a fairy tale and its star character is in fact, a girl with a pig nose. The movie has predictable characters, predictable plots, and the guy kisses the girl in the end. But isn't that what our world is like. We have predictable characters, predictable plots, and God brings the Church to Himself in the end with a triumphant kiss. If God didn't like chick flicks, he wouldn't have made one Himself.

Dreadlocks

Unfortunately, 4 is a majority when it comes to people voting on what I should do with my hair. Dreadlocks, eh? Are you picturing this?

First, I'm picturing not washing my hair for quite some time. (fun, yeah?)

Second, I think I'll make it green dreadlocks (since the runner-up was "dye it green").

Should I do anything with my beard?

I am, again, amazed

Guys, you didn't forget the Somali pirates did you? The ones who just saw a big ship and stopped it? I didn't think so. Well, there has been a lot of activity in that region recently, and despite the vigilant eyes of the U.S., Russia, a few E.U. ships, and NATO, at least one more large freighter has been seized by other Somali pirates. That being said, what of our original buddies on the good ship MS Faina? How have they lasted out the last month and a half? 

Well, they're still there. Their demand is now 8 million in the coldest and hardest instead of 20 million. Poor guys, it's tough being a pirate these days. People just don't have any respect any more. Sheesh. 

I almost want to pray for these guys to win just because they're so gutsy, but they're Muslims and pirates. So I suppose I'll be praying for their salvation and that they would figure out how exactly they're gonna get out of this one. 

I am going to shutup

The Dow is down 486 points, the S&P is down 52 points, and the NASDAQ is down 98 points. Curtis was right, and I was oh-so-very wrong. Not a real big surprise, considering my knowledge of economics. 

Anyhow, I'm not going to conjecture about why this happened, except to say that I don't really know who these "investors" are. Seriously, does anybody know? I also don't think that it was because people are realizing that Obama's just a politician. They've only had 18 hours to realize that, and I think it'll take more like 18 months, and that may be optimistic. 

Separate and tangentially related: Barack Hussein bin Ladin Jong Il Ayatollah Chavez Castro Stalin Obama is probably Muslim and he was probably born in Kenya, he's consorting with terrorists, and he just might have gotten rid of his grandmother (all things that, if Fox News haven't actually said yet, have been hinted in that particular lack of subtlety that seems to be their trademark), but he's going to be the President of the US of A unless something really crazy happens. So let's drop the blatant ad hominems and stick to criticizing his position, not him. I respect President Bush, I despise the war in Iraq. I love my friends, I hate their sins. Okay? So no more name-calling or other irrelevancies that do no help to anyone, vishte?*

*- That said, let's not get too terribly huffy and prissy. Let's laugh like Christians if something genuinely witty and still respectful comes along. Cue the Colbert, people.  

Rob's got a confession to make. . .

I've already confessed this to several of my classmates, but I'd like to come out before everyone as a "non-voter" in this '08 election. I've got several reasons:

1) I don't mean to be fatalistic, but is this not a sinking ship? What's the use of moving a few marbles around in the hull?

b) Alas, I'm an isolated college student that doesn't even own a TV

γ) I was too lazy to register absentee

So, there you have it peoples. Please don't blame the outcome of this election on me
(*cough* MPK). My tiny little vote would have done hardly anything; you are apparently laboring under the delusion that this is a democracy.

I was very, very wrong, and will be again

And I admit it. That's all she wrote folks. No lawsuits or riots, at least not yet. Obama, like CNN predicted, lapped McCain. And yes, I am a false prophet in every sense of the word. Almost every state I named to go McCain went Obama. It makes me laugh. 

Well, it's been fun. I am actually kind of ambivalent about the whole imbroglio now. The Obamessiah has conquered, and socialism will be the order of the day, but is anything new under the sun? Doubt it. 

You can tell a person is insane by the fact that they try the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, a wise man once said. Well, here goes some insanity. I'm predicting again. Ready? Good. 

Hillary Clinton resigns her senator-ship to be Secretary of State for Obama. J-Bide then mysteriously disappears within the next 20 months. I'm gonna go with plane crash. Of course, there's always the possibility that a Klanner shoots the man J Gibbs has called the first half-white president. Or both. I can't say I'd be surprised at either. 

UPDATE: Curtis has brought up the interesting question of the stock market. He calls a collective dive. I say no such luck. We've just voted in the first democrat in 8 years, the first (half-)black president ever, and New York is a blue state. Hillary's the governor, and the Dutch Reformed guys upstate sure didn't choose her. I say the market jumps maybe 250 to 300 points tomorrow alone. It'll shallow out the next few days, but people are excited - especially Democrats with money. Worldwide we'll see repercussion climbs and also climbs of the markets on their own. Europe wants this man. 

ANOTHER UPDATE: In this post I say some pretty heavy things about democratic political figures. I have great respect for Pres-elect Obama. I honestly do. His rhetoric and his intelligence won this race. When I talk about potential assassinations, I do not want or encourage this. I'm just saying that if the man goes into the Deep South, some crazy idiot is bound to take a pot shot at the first black President. 

I play the prophet

Tomorrow, around 8 or 9 PM CST, the major news media is going to realize that this is a much closer race than anyone wants to say. States like Idaho, New York, Kansas, and Oklahoma will go exactly as polled. CNN's predictions, though, that Obiden will lap McPalin on electoral votes is just dang ridiculous. Virginia will not go to Obama, and neither will Montana or North Dakota. I'm having trouble seeing Washington going that way as well. I think Palin will swing a large portion. North Carolina is another easy shot for the Reds. We may have another state (a la New Hampshire in y2k) that's up in the Blue Northeast that ends up swinging over. The big problems will, as always, lie in the swing states. What will be interesting though, is that this election will do roughly what the 2000 election did. Ohio and Pennsylvania will be split between Dems and Reps. Ohio will again go to the Red and Pennsylvania Blue. The battle will end up in Florida, like it always seems to, and this is where Wolf Blitzer will get all shrill and flustered. 

All of a sudden he and the rest of the "best political team in the frippin universe"™ will realize that their polls were wrong. Here's the thing about Florida, Alabama, and Georgia: more than half of the people who will vote for the Republicans no matter who is running are the working class heroes that anarchist musicians love to sing about and then love to hate come November. They are the trailer-living, gun toting, beer drinking rednecks who would hang up on any pollster in the world. But they'll show up tomorrow, and Wolf Blitzer and Anderson "The Grease" Cooper will shake their heads in sadness, and swear blue streaks on and off of cats when commercial breaks come. 

Come 12 am on Nov. 5th, we'll be no closer to a result. This one will take days, more likely weeks. The battle will start in the courts, and we'll see how it goes from there. It will be quite interesting to see how Charlie Crist (FL governor), a democrat, will react when his sponsor John McCain (they have a long track record together) and his party's nominee are both fighting over his state's votes. It'll be a very amusing couple of weeks

N.B. I have made at least two dozen controversial claims unfounded on any sort of real data except my own, limited experience. Most of this is sheer conjecture. But I do really think it's what will happen. May God, as Pastor Wilson said this Sunday, give us mercy and not justice. 

I was rugbified

Yep. And it was amazing. On this past Saturday a great tradition continued with the annual Pumpkin Rugby game between the House of Blaine (with the notable assistance of The Drones Club) and the House of Ana. It was a beautiful day for a match. The sky glowered on us with great grey clouds, fat with rain. A light drizzle added to the bite of the wind, yet we heeded not more than to laugh a little and cry out yet harder. The white-clad men of Blaine lined up, 5 paces from the first pumpkin, and 10 from the black rogues of Ana. It was a beautiful match. Tough were the men, loud was the cheering, and many were the pumpkins that were smashed into pieces. Not a man went home unscathed, though some left more on the field than others. Nate Douglas, one of the glorious captains of the House of Blaine, dislocated his right thumb, while Russell Woods, who allied with the House of Ana, was mildly concussed (by a knee from Pat Swanson and, if you happen to know him, you'll know how much of a miracle it was that it was only a mild concussing that happened in that ruck). Jonathan Heslep had a most impressive bloody nose, many people were scratched, scraped, etc. I myself got cleated in the back of the head. And I was also one of the few who were fallen on by Tyler Antkowiak, and if you've seen Antowiak you know how significant that is. My ribs are rather sore. In the end, it was a victory for Blaine, something like 8 to 3, though I'm by no means certain of the exact score. Rugby is an exceptionally manly sport. To be a great rugby player you have to have strength, mass, speed, and skill. Unlike football, there is less organization and more of an honor system involved. You don't see guys standing with their hands in the air in football. Anyhow, all of this to say, come Spring, when the world starts to poke its head out into the new lights, when everything starts becoming green, don't be surprised if there aren't a few Freshmen walking around with massive bruises, bloodied clothes, and generally looking sore. St. Andy's just might be starting back up. 

Check out some of the pictures on Erin's fine blog.