I am back, like a famine.

Wow guys. I am sorry. I think it's been nearly a month since I posted anything. Yikes. And I dare to call myself a contributor to this blog! Anyhow, here I contribute.

1. I do have something of an excuse, as this is the first weekend in the last three or four weeks that I've had a functioning power cord for my laptop, so I've been bumming off of other people and therefore trying to cut things as short as possible.

2. Today was the first day Moscow broke 60 degrees!! Truly a red letter day, since it also marked the first day we've had a full day of sunlight! It was glorious. Two and a half hours of soccer make any day better, even, nay especially a day like this.

3. Want to read something that will blow your mind, change your life, and make you wonder where in the world you have been all these years? Try Surprised by Hope, by Bishop Tom Wright, or Heaven Misplaced, by Pastor Doug Wilson. We've got some work to do, people.

4. On a note that is not totally different, you can go here and see some other stuff by me. I'll be posting poetry, art, commonplaces, and some random ideas. Don't be fooled, though. It is but a sideshow, a halftime performance when compared to the Flabbergaster.

5. [a preview for #4...] A short poem I wrote recently. It's called the ocean. It's got some things going on with the rhythm and meter, so watch for that. It's also not just about water. In case you were wondering.

you know i always miss the ocean

on stormy days i miss its waves

and on the clear days too

cause three thousand miles are just

too many for my toes to trip

when we've just got a weekend.

i know the gut-punching sickness

that comes on darker nights

when i wake up and there you

aren't.

and how i've wished to weep

for now i know how it is to be alone

the slap of water in the sink,

any mirrored flash of light,

the frozen fountain in

-

the frozen square below

they all remind me of the ocean

and of the suns embrace

and loneliness loves to gnaw at my guts

its chewed all through my

heart

for you are gone so i'm not here;

pray God someday

that all of that will change

is this what earth feels like to heav'n

(now am i not absurd?)

but i say sometime in the sunlight

when on the highest crest of hills

when dancing with our life's true love

we long for what we do not know.

6. I have a fruit that I like now (don't read a lot into that statement; it's kind of a long and

somewhat embarrassing story that involves me not liking most fruits): the orange. It kind of makes my day.

7. What is it about the song Drift Away that makes anyone in the room sing along? I think it's kind of amazing how music does that to people.

8. One wonders if "sheds crystal shells" is not one of the best phrases in the English language. Props to Robert Frost.

9. People, this kind of makes my day. If you don't know where it's from, click here, and laugh.

10. Although it's not because of any of the typical pop culture reasons, College Spring Break is amazing. So are my grandmother's mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and biscuits and gravy. There is quite possibly a causal relationship there.

11. I broke the 10 item barrier. Rad. Now I look ridiculous and long-winded, instead of the usual, which would be just ridiculous. Oh well.

I know what is.

Mongol General:  Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life? 

Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair. 

Mongol General:  Wrong! Conan! What is best in life? 

Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women. 

Mongol General:  That is good! That is good. 

This makes me laugh to nearly no end. 

I know it's been a while

...since we've been regularly posting. It's been a crazy week and there looms another on the horizon. Just hang on. We'll make it through somehow, I promise. In the meantime, a rundown on the importances and random things of life as I have seen them, in no particular order. 

1. This is incredibly creative. To think I just used legos to build massive castles full of fighting midgets. 

2. From Florida this week. A woman gave birth to the baby she was trying to kill while in the abortion clinic, and the nurse threw it away. In the garbage. The most frightening line of the article is this, regarding what is basically described as a surgical version of a spear: "We don't use these in terminations [anymore]." 

3. Quote of the day, from Oscar Wilde. "One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar." Poor little gnostic. 

4. I can't wait to see these at Walmart, piloted by obese men buying Diet Coke. 

5. Speaking of the WalBeast, who in the world thought it would be a good idea for them to sell roses?! Seriously. What kind of man buys his wife roses from Walmart? I mean, I know what kind of man buys his wife roses from Walmart, the same kind of man that stuffs her stocking with Skoal and Moon Pies for Christmas. But I mean, just come on. 

6. This is pretty epic. Careful cause there's a few very violent/bloody/disturbing images on there, so don't go clicking on the "objectionable content" labels. 

7. One of the coolest misspellings ever: "90 minuets in heaven"* Also an awesome name for an album. 

8. I just started listening to All These Things That I Have Done by The Killers. One wonders how men responsible for such lyrical drivel as Somebody Told Me could come up with "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier." 

9. And this makes me abundantly happy. They should have bulletproof pocket protectors and short ties. 

*this was referring to the book 90 Minutes In Heaven

I just don't think people understand

So here's the headline I saw a few days ago:
U.N. alarmed by Lebanon rocket attacks on Israel
I am intrigued by this. Because, you see, it's so ridiculously obvious. Are there rocket attacks that don't alarm people? I would hate to see them. I mean really, how boring would that attack be?

We continue reading, though

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

You've got to be kidding me. Just when Kofi Annan steps down, we get a man named
Ban Ki-moon? We serve a marvelously funny God, my friends

expressed alarm on Wednesday over reports of Lebanese rocket attacks against Israel and urged all parties in the region to avoid actions that could make a bad situation worse. "That is ... a very alarming, very disturbing and troubling situation," Ban told reporters

Again with the alarm. Apparently General Ban hasn't been told that this sort of thing has been happening since the Muslims invaded like 1,000 years ago. And now he's asking Israel not to retaliate. Someone needs to give the poor man a briefing. Retaliation is my Israeli neighbor's middle name. Not really, but you see my point. Revenge is something they are good at. Their ancestors avenged the rape of their sister by convincing an entire city of men to circumcise themselves, and then came in on the third day "when they were sore" and butchered the lot of them.

Ban said that U.N. peacekeepers in Lebanon, known as UNIFIL, were investigating the rocket attacks launched from inside Lebanon. The incident took place on the 19th day of Israel's offensive against Hamas militants in the Gaza strip.

Tough, that one. Israel fights Hamas militants. All of a sudden, rockets start
appearing out of Lebanon, a known supporter and harbor for Hamas militants.
Careful now, don't think about this too hard or you might get a headache.

Security sources in Lebanon said five rockets were fired, though two fell in Lebanon.

So these guys aren't just idiots because they're fighting against one of the most militant nations on the planet, they're also idiots in the traditional sense of the word. They can't even point and shoot.

"Hamas rocket attacks must stop and at the same time I have been condemning
the excessive military operation by the Israelis," he told an earlier news
conference in Cairo . . .

Apparently we're going to be forgetting that whole part where Hamas stole the land from Israel. Just like we forgot about Hitler annexing Austria. Because that worked so well.

The Hamas-run Health Ministry in Gaza said 1,010 Palestinians had been killed
and 4,700 wounded by Israel so far. The Israelis say on their side 10 soldiers,
and three civilians hit by cross-border Hamas rockets, have been killed.

The moral of this story, kids, is: don't mess with Israel. 13 deaths compared to 1,010?! That's absolutely incredible.

Here's what I don't think people get. People don't understand that God's promises to Israel aren't finished. If God is going to redeem the nation of Israel as He has promised, He's got to have something to redeem.* In the Six Day War in 1967, Israel was attacked by Syria, Jordan, Iraq, and Egypt. They were outnumbered almost 2 to 1 in infantry, 3 to 1 in the air, and 3 to 1 in tanks. By the end of those six days, Israel had had 800 men killed, 2500 wounded, and 15 captured. The four Arabic nations had lost 13,000 men, 8,000 wounded, and 6,000 prisoners. Israel lost 46 aircraft as compared to more than 400 aircraft. Don't mess with the Lord's chosen. David didn't kill Saul even though he was unfaithful, because Saul was God's chosen one. I can think of no other nation on earth that is that small, surrounded by that many enemies, and that has lasted for that long. So, as the eloquent Pastor Hadding has said on many an occasion, I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. 

*This does, in fact and in most every way, represent what I believe. It may or may not represent what Rob believes, we haven't discussed it yet. Something tells me we will shortly. 

I ask a very leading question

This has been on my mind recently. 

Why are there poor?

And answers like "sin" or "Adam in the Garden" are copouts. I mean, here and now, in 2009, why are there still people who cannot buy food? 

P.S. Sorry we've been so out of touch recently. Family has taken priority. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and that you all watched that guy Robbie Maddison almost kill himself in 14 different ways, and then drop the mighty-mighty-f-bomb on live ESPN TV. American entertainment at its best, folks. 

I make a promise

Alright folks, it's coming up. Our blog scores the big 1000 hits mark. That's right, people have looked in on this all-too-beautiful page 1000 times. So here's the deal. You scroll to the bottom of the page. If you see a golden 1000 staring back at you (or just a gray one - whatever) take a screen shot of it and email it to me or Rob, or let us know in the comments section. But you'd better have proof! (Or be able to swear on your mother's grave and all such and sundry) 

If you are that lucky person, you have two choices. If you're in Moscow, I will buy you a cookie at Wheatberries. Or a foccacia pizza. Whichever you want. If you're in Pensacola/Milton, I will buy you a doughnut at Milton Bakery come Christmastide. If you fit in neither category: first of all who are you, and second of all, you can ask any of us you would like to write on whatever you would like. 

Should nobody catch the magic 1000 (if somebody gets it and doesn't know, or doesn't let us know) and you see 1001, grab it. The nearest person (after 1000, no 999 business) will get the prize in their stead. Alright people. Watch and wait. And keep hitting that refresh button.

That Hideous "X"

In my attic in Florida across from the air-hockey/ping-pong table, in front of the TV, to the side of my dad’s music studio, lies a box so hideous that it is only referred to as “X” (along with some random numbers used primarily by snowboarders.) Under those dull attic lights, along with other initiates I have sacrificed many of my precious neurons, to the great god of entertainment.

Now look, I don’t really think there’s anything sinister about playing video games. On the other hand, I don’t think there’s anything beneficial either. An occasional Halo party can be fun; but I disagree with Mr. Truax’s overblown claim that it sponsors lasting friendships. It is quite easy to point at two good friends who get together to play video games, and claim that the video games are responsible for their friendship. In fact, it’s so easy that it’s referred to (for convenience’s sake) as the “ad hoc” fallacy.

I agree with those in the reformed community who claim that video games can be addictive (generally, anything that offers instant gratification has this potential). It appears that Mr. Truax was on a hot-streak of fallacious reasoning when he dismissed this claim because our reformed community likes its alcohol and tobacco. This is called the fallacy of origin, little boys and girls, criticizing a position because of where it originated. The reformed community rightly treats alcohol and tobacco as substances to be used in moderation. We should do the same with video games.

I am, again, amazed

Guys, you didn't forget the Somali pirates did you? The ones who just saw a big ship and stopped it? I didn't think so. Well, there has been a lot of activity in that region recently, and despite the vigilant eyes of the U.S., Russia, a few E.U. ships, and NATO, at least one more large freighter has been seized by other Somali pirates. That being said, what of our original buddies on the good ship MS Faina? How have they lasted out the last month and a half? 

Well, they're still there. Their demand is now 8 million in the coldest and hardest instead of 20 million. Poor guys, it's tough being a pirate these days. People just don't have any respect any more. Sheesh. 

I almost want to pray for these guys to win just because they're so gutsy, but they're Muslims and pirates. So I suppose I'll be praying for their salvation and that they would figure out how exactly they're gonna get out of this one. 

I was rugbified

Yep. And it was amazing. On this past Saturday a great tradition continued with the annual Pumpkin Rugby game between the House of Blaine (with the notable assistance of The Drones Club) and the House of Ana. It was a beautiful day for a match. The sky glowered on us with great grey clouds, fat with rain. A light drizzle added to the bite of the wind, yet we heeded not more than to laugh a little and cry out yet harder. The white-clad men of Blaine lined up, 5 paces from the first pumpkin, and 10 from the black rogues of Ana. It was a beautiful match. Tough were the men, loud was the cheering, and many were the pumpkins that were smashed into pieces. Not a man went home unscathed, though some left more on the field than others. Nate Douglas, one of the glorious captains of the House of Blaine, dislocated his right thumb, while Russell Woods, who allied with the House of Ana, was mildly concussed (by a knee from Pat Swanson and, if you happen to know him, you'll know how much of a miracle it was that it was only a mild concussing that happened in that ruck). Jonathan Heslep had a most impressive bloody nose, many people were scratched, scraped, etc. I myself got cleated in the back of the head. And I was also one of the few who were fallen on by Tyler Antkowiak, and if you've seen Antowiak you know how significant that is. My ribs are rather sore. In the end, it was a victory for Blaine, something like 8 to 3, though I'm by no means certain of the exact score. Rugby is an exceptionally manly sport. To be a great rugby player you have to have strength, mass, speed, and skill. Unlike football, there is less organization and more of an honor system involved. You don't see guys standing with their hands in the air in football. Anyhow, all of this to say, come Spring, when the world starts to poke its head out into the new lights, when everything starts becoming green, don't be surprised if there aren't a few Freshmen walking around with massive bruises, bloodied clothes, and generally looking sore. St. Andy's just might be starting back up. 

Check out some of the pictures on Erin's fine blog. 

The Dane Ultimatum

This is an ultimatum to Dane (Swede), not a "Dane Ultimatum". If you are reading this (and especially if you are not), please post to the blog in one week or you will be booted off.

Effective: Friday November 7, 2008 12:01 AM PST

We sorry.

Yeah, it's been a week since any post on the blog. If you can even call that last thing I did a post. We're sorry. I could go into great detail, telling you of the 300 pages we had to read in two days, not to mention the whole book of Genesis, and then describe some Latin quizzes, hard grammar, Math proofs, and such, but I won't. We'll be back with more fairly shortly. We've been busy, and there's plenty of post material churning around in our minds.

I am Young

I've had these thoughts running through my head for a couple weeks now, and I actually scribbled a little of the last part on the back of my lordship notes. Anyhow, no further adoing. 

Youth

I wonder what it is like to be old and white-whiskered,

For as yet I am young, and wisdom 

Laughs merrily at me from afar as I chase her, 

Ever-stumbling. 

My life is but new-started, 

My days are few, fresh, and hope-full. 

Yet my nights are heavy with thoughts and people and 

Times remembered. 

What will it be to remember even more?

And then my friends not gone away but  

Gone, their laughter forgotten from the world, 

Their song silenced. 

Nevermore, quoth the raven, and nevermore will 

The things I remember exist again, and time 

Will come when no one remembers 

Except me. 

For in remembrance a person lives, somehow, 

And the only true death in this world, as 

The Greek said, was being finally and utterly 

Forgotten. 

The song of our youth will be silenced soon 

Nevermore to be sung again, 

Nor shall there be any who remember the 

Glory of its joy. 

Joy we feel in life, in the blood that 

Pounds in our veins, joy in love, hoped 

And yet unseen. Joy in life yet unlived, joy in  

Joys yet untasted.

And behind it all we wonder, sadly. 

When will it end, when our friends will go, 

When our love will be parted, when our joys are all 

Remembered?

Of a time, I sit and think. 

And when I do, I think mostly tragic thoughts

For life is so here, so present, so much around and in me 

I can’t imagine less before than behind.

Laughing is enough sometimes when thinking of life’s vanity, 

Yet tears seem more appropriate when I 

Think about life, and about death, and how much of 

Each is in each. 

Life is full of death, ours and others and 

Ours in others, and death, we know, is naught 

But renewed, reinvigorated, reborn life 

Age after age. 

And so we cannot but sing, laugh, dance, and drink, 

We cannot but joy in Christ. For we remember, 

Though not with our eyes, when He was us and died, 

When we were Christ (though not yet) and lived. 

Let us feast like lunatics, rejoice like imbeciles, 

Dance like madmen, and love idiotically all the days of our vanity. 

For we are drunk on the wine of life – 

We are young. 

I find their perseverance inspiring

The Somali pirates are, a full week later, still in possession of the Ukrainian weapons freighter. Despite the best efforts of the American and Russian navies, they're still negotiating with whomever it is that owns all of the cargo. And from what I hear, they want more than 30 million. That's right. They are getting at least 10 million big ones more than they started out at. That's called aggressive bargaining. Or they just pointed out that the dollar is worth less this week than last week. I'm telling you, you just can't make this stuff up. I dare you to even try. 

For your further amusement: 

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5iIJxAamZcHRiTMK-42nPDj-GO2zQ

Favorite phrase from this article: "both sides are definitely ready to talk amicably." Really? I'm no psychologist, but I'm guessing that the last thing on the minds of those Ukrainian arms dealers is amicability.

I was convicted

So on Sunday I was sitting in church (go figure). Come time to pass the sacrament, Pastor Wilson gave his weekly exhortation. It was incredible. We've been discussing Augustine and Calvin in Lordship and how we as Christians not so much as partake in Christ as be Christ. We die when Christ dies, we live when He lives. By His humility we are exalted, in His defeat of death we are victors. And then this little minute talk by Pastor Wilson synthesized these thoughts and practically applied them in a way that convicts me more every time I read it. God help me to be consumed as I have consumed.

Exactly So
Last week we considered the truth that we do more than consume in this meal—we are consumed as well. If the entire congregation is the loaf, as St. Paul plainly teaches, then we are—all of us—both eating and being eaten. We consume and are consumed.

Christ gives Himself to us, certainly. But we also surrender ourselves to Him in this partaking. The head of the body communicates, just as the body does. And as each part of the body eats, so each part of the body is eaten. My life for yours.

This sounds noble, and quite lovely, in this context. We are all seated in church, the bread and wine are on the table, and we have just finished worshipping the Lord. But this reality, this table, governs the next six days, and it does not leave any spaces. My life for yours feels quite different when the kids are tearing off in six different directions, when your business partner is being difficult, when an old friend appears to be losing it, when someone in the church badmouths you, when you can’t get all your work done and others aren’t helping, and when you feel misunderstood by everybody.

When such moments come—and there will likely be a number of them in the next six days—you will feel like you are being consumed. But then you should think to yourself, "ah, exactly so. I offered myself for that, just this last Sunday."

I open the dam on Top 10 lists

Last night our good friend Jeremy Soder purchased a 1950's era portable turntable record player with built in sound system from the Salvation Army. It's amazing. We immediately went to Bookpeoples in downtown Moscow and purchased the following LPs: "Flight of the Valkyrie," "Beethoven's 9th," some 80s pop music which is really cool, "Eagles: Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975," and "Saturday Night Fever - The Soundtrack." Yes, we listened to Stayin Alive on vinyl. It was amazing, and we discoed in their apartment. I also found a copy of the original Orson Welles broadcast of War of the Worlds on two LPs. For 8 of the hardest earned. It was phenomenal. Anyhow, here's my top 10 list of records that will sound better on vinyl than on CD. I'll be following this up with a post on why I think vinyl is coming back because of the sterility of digital music, but that'll be later. After my rhetoric final. So, here goes.

Top 10: Albums That Will Sound Better On Vinyl Than On CD

10. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range

Why:
The classic, mellow sound of this album has always moved me to tears, and the turntable sound accentuates the soulful. Hornsby's piano is among the greatest in modern rock (Elton John and Stevie Wonder being obvious contenders) and the echoes of records will complement his sound.

Key Tracks: On The Western Skyline - "I'm staring into the twilight" enough said. Every Little Kiss - The chips of vinyl on top of those haunting melodies? Perfect.

9. Come On Feel The Illinoise!, Sufjan Stevens

Why:
Sufjan's so ridiculously indie that the grit of the turntable can't help but add character to an album already exploding with it.

Key Track: Casimir Pulaski Day - Turntable grit/static combined with "And He takes and He takes and He takes . . . "



8. In Rainbows, Radiohead

Why:
When I first downloaded this album, I had it in 192 kbps MP3, which if you know, is not great quality. Then I burned it onto an old blank CD I had lying around, and the next morning at 5 am I played it on an old walkman which then went through a banged up FM transmitter to an already static-filled frequency. The result - magic.

Key Track: Reckoner

7. Narrow Stairs, Death Cab for Cutie

Why: This album is definitely not my favorite Death Cab. Plans took them a long way from the genius of their indie selves, but this is a step in the right direction. You can tell because it will sound better on vinyl. Plans is to poppy, too crisp to work on record, but songs like Bigsby Canyon Bridge and I Will Possess Your Heart beg for the care of the needle.

Key Tracks: No Sunlight, Grapevine Fires

6. Give Up, The Postal Service

Why:
Despite the inclusion of yet another Gibbard project on the list, there's a reason he releases on Barsuk LPs. The echoes and subtle beats of such classics as Nothing Better, Clark Gable, and District Sleeps Alone Tonight promise great things on the turntable.

Key Track: We Will Become Silhouettes - the echoes and chips of a record on this already haunting track? This track was created for vinyl.

5. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, The Flaming Lips

Why:
My main reason for the presence of this album, which I've listened to very little of, is also the key track. Do You Realize?? is an amazing song for its life, exuberance, and existential contrast. Throw it on the table and let the magic happen.

Key Track: Do You Realize??



4. Speak for Yourself, Imogen Heap

Why:
I mainly want to hear the purist sounds of Imogen Heap, so painstakingly produced with various random "instruments;" beer bottles, cardboard tubes, etc., put through a record player. Just to see what the chimes of Say Goodnight and Go sound like after the vinyl rebirth.

Key Track: Just For Now - in case that song didn't have enough awesomeness going on already, let's add yet another dimension to the sound.

3. Viva La Vida, Coldplay

Why:
Surely the most existential album of Coldplay's history, Viva La Vida was, the dust jacket tells us, recorded in such places as a church, a bakery, and a monastery. The beat of Lost, and the soaring life that is the guitar solo in the second half of Yes, these are things that need a needle to give them life.

Key Tracks: Strawberry Swing - the beginning of this song already sounds like it's coming out of an old jukebox, so let's go all the way and see what happens! Death and All His Friends - "No I don't want a battle from beginning to end. . . " to the fade back into Life in Technicolor's theme, this will blow our minds. I can't wait.

2. Takk, Sigur Ros

Why:
An Icelandic guy singing to us in a language which sounds like that of the angels while someone behind him plays an electric guitar with a cello bow. Throw in soaring, heart-rending melodies, drops in tempo that explode again in renewed life, and you've found yourself one heck of an artist. Welcome to the wonderful world of Sigur Ros.

Key Track: Hoppipolla - When I think about the glorious shift in this song near the middle into that exuberant crash, I think of the resurrection of Christ. Listening to it on vinyl would be the difference between listening to your 3rd grade sunday school teacher tell you the story and reading the Scripture. We may never feel the same about Sigur Ros on digital again.

1. Transatlanticism, Death Cab for Cutie

Why:
This is probably my favorite album of all time, so it's a shoe-in for number one on any list. But I fought this urge until, 10 seconds later, I realized how perfect it is. Transatlanticism is an album about distance. It's the story of two lovers seperated by the Atlantic and the effect this has on their love. From the first time you hear the clacking of rails in New Year to the final note of Lack of Color, Transatlanticism is a triumphant, Kierkegaardian treatise on distance in a relationship. Vinyl has the unique quality of adding a different level of distance. Digital music puts the sound right on us, in our ears, rather than removing it to the appropriate place. This record will be amazing.

Key Tracks: We Looked Like Giants, New Year - "God bless the day light, the sugary smell of springtime" and "explosions off in the distance, in the distance" under the needle. Sublime.

I am amazed

This is awesome. Sheer, total awesomeness. I want you to read the next sentence with care and an open mind.

Today, off the coast of Africa, Somalian pirates hijacked a Ukranian freighter loaded with weapons.

You can't make this stuff up. This is like something out of a bad Tom Clancy novel. God has such a sense of humor. Here is the New York Times write-up on this. I think it's hysterical because the plain, old fashioned piratical talk is just put out there like it's Obama or Palin speaking.

Okay but first of all:

"Ukrainian freighter loaded with tanks, artillery, grenade launchers and ammunition"

What the heck? Ukrainians? Really? This is way too good to be true.

Also: 

Mr. Sugule spoke on everything from what the pirates wanted (“just money”) to why they were doing this (“to stop illegal fishing and dumping in our waters”) to what they had to eat on board (rice, meat, bread, spaghetti, “you know, normal human-being food”).

"Just money," and "normal human-being food" - I laughed so hard it hurt.

And best of all, then the New York Times asked why they stopped it. This is the funniest thing I've heard in a month of Mondays.  

"'We just saw a big ship,' the pirates’ spokesman, Sugule Ali, said in a telephone interview. 'So we stopped it.'"

First of all - oh my freaking gosh, that's amazing. Second of all - spokesman? Seriously? Can you imagine that conversation: "Can I talk to your spokesman?" "Um, yes, let me get him for you . . ." Whispers to friends with a hand over the receiver - "We have a spokesman? I don't know either but this American is asking for him!"