Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Graduations

It is hard to believe that a year has gone by since the Trinitas Christan School class of '07 (Katie, Kaleb, and myself) graduated. Now, it is the class of 2008's turn to graduate and the school is saying goodbye to five of its students once again. I wish these students all the best, and I look forward to attending their graduations tomorrow. Good luck class of 2008. Go out there and do God, your parents, and Trinitas proud.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I was entertained after I realized that it was, in fact, crystal.

So this afternoon the fam and I went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I walked in expecting, nay, desiring to hate this movie. It had all the characteristics of a movie I should hate: it was a long-awaited and totally unnecessary sequel, it was a 4th, it had Shia LaBeouf, it was totally unrealistic, it involved swordfights on moving vehicles, and it was about aliens although it claimed they weren't aliens. All in all, it should have been utterly insufferable and I should have given it Josh Gibbs' ultimate insult (that is, walking out 10 minutes before the end). But it wasn't. I was entertained. No, more, I enjoyed it. Harrison Ford is convincing as an old man. I don't think any actor of this day other than Sean Connery can so effortlessly pull this off. We all know Bruce Willis can't, Samuel L. Jackson can't, and I can't stand to watch Pierce Brosnan try. For the first time, I didn't just respect Indy, I loved that dude. When Shia's character said, "You're a teacher!?" I was like, "Dude, I was thinking the exact same thing!" But I had to get past the nuclear blast survival, the constantly missing KGB machine gun fire, the fact that aliens landed with the Incas and yet they were beaten by a few freaking Spaniards, etc. When they first see the crystal skull (which turns out to be the actual skull of an actual alien or, as one of Indy's colleagues says, 'a trans-dimensional being'), we are told by the man himself that it is quartz crystal, cut across the grain, which is apparently impossible by human methods. It would have been all to easy for me to hear, "it looks like crystal but it . . . just isn't." But it was crystal. Once you realized that these beings who were all-powerful, all-knowing, and were stinkin architectural geniuses using stone age tools, had bones made out of quartz, just like what's under our feet, you had the movie in your grasp. And after that, army ants devouring a guy in 3 seconds flat is icing on the cake. And did I mention Cate Blanchett has a black bob haircut? Anytime I can see Elizabeth I dressed up like some twisted sort of archetypal Gestapo torturess, complete with knee-high leather boots, it's worth 6 of the coldest.

Overall rating: 7.5 out of 10
Watch for: A scattered bad word or two, lots of bloodless violence (typical Indy style: fists and . . . well, fists), and the realization on a younger person's face that Indy had a child before he was married.

Friday, May 23, 2008

"Fat Ass"

I recently re-watched "The Shawshank Redemption" and let me just say, that is one of the best movies I've seen. But that is not why I'm writing this blog post. I'm writing this post because of one character in particular: the one Captain Hadley kills because he was crying in his cell.

In the movie this character was referred to by the other inmates (Heywood in particular) as "Fat Ass". Since this is the case the credits have him listed as "fat ass".

How would you like that? You know he has to want to tell people that he played a part in "The Shawshank Redemption". But then the poor guy has an awful choice to make. Does he admit to his character's ignominious name (sorry for such a big word), does he lie about his part, or does he simply not mention his role in the movie? I guess he just has to tell people that he played the part of "fat ass". But gosh, how's that for eternal remembrance?

I wonder if that nickname stuck with him. Are people to this day referring to him as "fat ass"? If so, how much of an incentive is this to improve his physique in regard to his posterior tissue and general excess of flab?


Now, I realize that these people have a tough time thinking up names for extras; but come on. They could have called him "Man with a rather large posterior" or, uh. . . "big guy bludgeoned by Hadley". Ok, ok. Those wouldn't fit. But they've gotta figure out something other than "fat ass". This is a person's self-esteem we are talking about. Oh well, that's life I guess.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

We are amazing (and total nerds)

Guess what peoples? My esteemed colleague and I did something truly amazing and worthy of eternal remembrance. That's right.

We beat Halo on Legendary. And not just any Halo - Halo III.

The only catch was that we started the mission affectionately referred to as "Covenant" at Rally point Bravo. For those of you that haven't played this game, that's right before the two scarabs (ridiculously hard insect-like alien ships) and right after we took out the shield. But we did in fact play the part before it, just at another time and we didn't much feel like starting over (very annoying section; doncha know?).

Um, so well we didn't get to see the alternate ending (aka "the nerd's beatific vision"). We were ticked. AGAIN!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I was ticked.

So Monday night I stayed up till 2:30 watching The Fifth Element. It's not that I just can't figure this movie out. It's that neither I nor Bruce Willis can figure it out, either. You can just see him getting more and more fed up throughout the movie. By the second to last scene, he's just disgusted. This from the guy who made Die Hard IV. His look said: "I didn't read the script, I just looked at all the zeros."
Seriously, though, that movie cannot figure out whether it's an action or a spoof. It would be a great spoof, but it takes itself way to seriously at all the wrong times. And it could be a decent sci-fi action movie (although there's too much Bladerunner in there), but the cinematography alone makes you laugh, much less the dialogue. MJov does do an excellent acting job (somehow), and everything else, all the casting, the costumes, the cinematography, even the plot, are geared for spoof. And then it was like the director changed his mind about 30 minutes into filming.
I turned off the TV and wondered that timeless question: "where can I go to get the last two hours of my life back?"

Thursday, May 15, 2008

"Surprised by Hope"- N.T. Wright

It seems to be a temptation of many contemporary conservative Christian writers to paint a very bleak picture of where the world is going. The temptation is perfectly understandable, since there really is not much happening in the world right now to give us much hope. However, in his new book, "Surprised by Hope", N.T. Wright certainly breaks loose from this trend.
N.T. Wright avoids two very great pitfalls in his position on the state of the world. On the one hand, he does not give in to despair over the modern condition and simply lament that the world is going down the tubes and there's nothing we can do about it. On the other hand, he is not like the "triumphalists" (as he calls them) who turn a blind eye to the troubles of the world and insist that everything is fine. In order to bring us to an understanding of his position he divides his book into two main sections.
In his first section Wright discusses his eschatological views. He begins by arguing against recent trends in modern Christianity toward gnosticism. There are many Christians who take a very low view of the physical body (and matter in general) in favor of the spiritual body. There are many people who insist that the present bodily existence in which we find ourselves now is just the interim period before we shed our bodies and live with Jesus in Heaven. Similarly, they believe that God will destroy the earth (and everything physical) and eventually all that will exist is the heavenly kingdom and its citizens.
Instead, Wright continually emphasizes the Isaiahic promise that the earth will be full with the knowledge of God like the waters covers the sea, and the lion will lay down with the lamb. He enthusiastically anticipates the final state which he calls "life after life after death." He says that for a short time Christians that die before the Second Coming will live in spiritual form in heaven (life after death) but that this is only temporary. He says that this state is only the rest stop before all of God's people are given new bodies which they are to enjoy on the new redeemed earth (life after life after death).
It is important that this is not a purely theoretical position, argued by theologians but having little to do with everyday life. On the contrary, Wright insists that a proper understanding of eschatology should inspire greater care for the earth. Martin Luther said that the proper response to hearing that the Lord is coming tomorrow is to plant a tree. This is precisely the stance that Wright takes. We cannot adopt the laissez attitude of those who think that the creation is evil and that they will be snatched up from it unexpectedly. God declared his Creation to be very good and he gave it to be in our care. We should treat the creation like it shall be our home forever (as it indeed shall be, in its redeemed form).
Wright's second section is directly related to this. So what should we, the Church, do in the meantime? Wright's answer is very simple: "prepare." Wright emphasizes a missional church; going out into the world to bring back news of the promised land. He says that we should be like the scouts who brought back grapes to the Israelites out of the promised land. We are to give the world a glimpse of God's Kingdom come to earth. We are to give feet to our Lord's prayer "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." This is to be the work of every Christian on this earth - feed the hungry, comfort the sick and weary, and care for the widowed.
Reading this book was extremely encouraging to me. It was not empty encouragement but rather an assurance of God's promise to us. Wright's zeal for the church was extremely refreshing, and I could truly sense his earnestness through his words. I highly recommend this book.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Nine Inch Nails- The Slip




Last week I did something that I would not normally do. I purposefully downloaded an entire album of Nine Inch Nails (NIN). I know, I know. But it was their newest album and it was free from their site so I thought "what the heck, might as well." I didn't really expect it to be terribly good. Now I realize that it is kind of unfair to compare an industrial rock band to an alternative/semi-indie rock band but I'm going to do it anyway. DCFC is so much better than NIN. When I listened to "The Slip" I could not discern any redeeming value in it. The lyrics are pure drivel and the music really needs some serious work. The sound is all distorted, Trent Reznor's voice is just awful, and the percussion gave me a headache.
At this point someone might interject and say that this is the effect that NIN was going for. They just wanted to make their music fit the point they were trying to make with their lyrics. I have to object. On "Year Zero" they may have some of the musical leeway with their subject matter to make something musically displeasing. On "The Slip" though I could not notice a consistent theme, and the lyrics did not justify any such move. On the whole, I'm glad it was free because there is no way I would pay for this.

As an interesting side note, Radiohead was the first group (that I know of) to make their music free off their site with "In Rainbows." Now there is a review for another day, but suffice it to say that I would have paid good money for that album.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Narrow Stairs

Today I purchased Death Cab For Cutie's (henceforth referred to as DCFC) newest album Narrow Stairs. I have been a big fan of DCFC for several years and I've come to expect great things of them. I was not disappointed this time. There's just no other way to put it - this album ROCKS!!! Gibbard's lyrical poetry is in full form and the melodies are incredible. I was especially happy to find that DCFC breaks out of its typical sound. This album features a lot more bass and electric guitar then most of their previous stuff. Their change in instrumental tone fits perfectly with the tone of the lyrics. Lyrically this is a much drearier album than Plans. Plans is very upbeat and optimistic about the future. Narrow Stairs tells the sorry tale of the disillusioned idealists, dejected singles, and disappointed suitors. I recommend this music, but don't expect it to cheer you up.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Why I started a blog with such an outrageous title

Why did I start a blog with such an outrageous title and such a hard-to-spell web address? So glad you asked. Well, I just started to think one day (this is one of the things I do once in a while) "flabbergast is a strange word." According to the Oxford American Dictionary it means "surprise (someone) greatly; astonish." What a boring definition for such a great word. If I were writing the dictionary I would define it as "to poke someone with a sharp object in the gut." The word sounds kind of violent and I think this definition gives it more justice.
So much for my title. Now to the purpose of this blog. . . On this blog I would like to present some of the absurdities of modern life and just a few of the things that make it worth while. I have the ambitious goal of writing a review of every book I read, and some of the more interesting music that has crossed my ears. I will also probably not be able to resist commenting on politics. Other than this, I might share some of my dreams (actually probably not) and what I am currently thinking about (run through a very strict filter). To all my future loyal fans, thanks for reading!