Last night I was heating up some quesadillas in the microwave. It was one of those deals where you open the box, take out some stone-like things in the shape of a crescent, stick 'em in some sleeve, and then microwave the bloody heck out of them.
Well, I think there must be some universal law that you can't get a good ol' Aristotelian mean out of a sleeve pocket dinner. Either there's still a frozen portion (usually in the middle) or it becomes scalding hot. Actually, what usually happens is that you get both. The edges are scalding hot but the middle is nice and frozen. In the case of last night the edges were actually burned and the paper was about ready to catch fire. And yet, once again there is still a frozen piece the size of Alaska. So what do you do with the part that's already cooked to death? Slice around it and put the frozen part back in. But I don't want to ruin my nice crescent. . .
Maybe this'll be one of the things I ask God about when I get to Heaven.
Beerbohm
6 years ago
Being the purchaser of the $59 microwave you are frustrated with, and the indirect purchaser of the $1.59 quesadilla in question, I have the following observation: You should microwave it for half the time recommended then let it sit for a minute (ostensibly to let the eskimonian part in the middle become warmed by the solarian part) then cook it for the other half of the time. Then wait a few minutes before eating. I guess you could do this in three parts, or possibly four or five, depending on your patience factor and the cheapness-of-your-dad-buying-the-microwave factor, which in this case is obviously the constant in the equation.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, try not to get scalded or brain-freeze in the nourishment process.
Love ya,
Dad
Thanks God. :)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, let it never be said that my dad is cheap. I don't think it's the microwave's fault. I think it's part of the sleeve pocket's fallen nature that they must be cooked in toil and by the sweat of man's brow.
Love ya too
Well, at least it doesn't have the pain of childbirth, unless you count the next time you see it (that's really more of a re-incarnation, isn't it?)
ReplyDeleteTry to stay away from the mental visual of that one.
Dad