So. Recently I've been surfing the internets trying to find the company that publishes a book I have to cite in my Rhetoric Term Paper. At said company's website, something in the lower left corner catches my eye. This is where it gets amazing. First, the title.
Black Belt Patriotism
Okay. What the heck? I'm speechless. Did someone let the 15 year old homeschooled boy try to write a book? What happened here?
Then I saw and understood the picture.
I don't know if you can tell, but that is, in fact, an American flag on his left sleeve. Priceless.Yes, folks, Walker Texas Ranger has finally told you how to be a patriot if you don't want yourself roundhoused. But what could such a fount of knowledge have to write about? Let's see the 5 issues which Chuck says are important enough that he had to write about them.
- Immigration and securing our borders
- Winning the culture war for the sake of our children,
- Triumphing in the war on terrorism
- Tackling fiscal irresponsibility—both in government and at home.
- Battling the problem of widespread obesity
I guess I "need to get out more" then.
ReplyDeleteHe actually lists that as a major issue? Head for the hills! Tact has nothing to do with this world anymore! *packs up*
Yeah, that was pretty much tongue in cheek. To be honest, not having heard of Chuck Norris is probably something of a blessing. But yeah, head for the hills is right. You're likely to get yourself roundhouse kicked.
ReplyDeleteKaleb, go easy dude.... she's a girl!!!!! Faith, don't get out more, it's ok if you don't know about him. In fact, consider youself blessed. But that is rediculous, obesity!!! what the heck!!!!
ReplyDeleteEveryone, meet Kanaan, aka Kano, aka Trottster, aka T-Diddy, aka T-bomb, aka K-dog, aka Buddy (but not to his face), aka Bulldog from Hell (that's a very long story involving a long night, much wrestling, and some multivarious smack-talking), aka my brother. Yeah, he's pretty much the man.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I was totally not trying to be mean. It was absolutely a joke about not knowing the Chuckster. He may be the Ultimate Male, but he's definitely not worth going out of your way to find out about. Yeah, obesity sort of took the cake for me. I was sort of understanding until I read that, at which point I burst into mocking laughter.
Aha! A pleasure to "meet" you, Kaleb's brother! I'm still not sure what your real name is, because that list Kaleb gave sounds oddly like a bunch of nicknames.
ReplyDeleteSo I will call you Mark.
Nice to meet you, Mark! I'm glad I haven't been missing out on the fun for too long, since I only just found out who exactly Chuck Norris is. I've heard about him for years, but I've never known who the man himself is. Its all very interesting, I'll tell you that!
And Kaleb, not to worry! I know you were teasing. I'm not so stupid as to think you would mean to a girl you've known for seven weeks. I'm pretty stupid, but not *that* stupid. ;D
Oops - his real name is Kanaan. Just like that, no more, no less. Not Mark, though. Sorry to disappoint.
ReplyDeleteT-diddy, K-dog??? what in the world?! that was more of kaleb's description of me than my actual self. he has never called me T-diddy... never.ever. But, yes, he has called me Bulldog from hell. that was one weird night. but, anyway. good to meet you too faith, or should i call you faith adeline. i don't know. so i will call you... faith? you can still call me mark, i guess. or you could call me K-dog. i don't really care.
ReplyDeleteHaha, thank you Kaleb. :D Oh hey, did you do your final yesterday, or did you sign up to do it tomorrow? Just curious. :) See you at church in a bit!
ReplyDeleteAnd "Mark", you can just call me Faith. Or Addie. Everyone at school calls me Faith, but everyone at work calls me Addie. So yeah, whichever is totally fine with me. :)
well kaleb, you go'na say anything or what? Faith, good to meet you.... over the internet?? chuck norris, God help you my friend, God help you.
ReplyDeleteI'll say something. . .
ReplyDeleteThis whole thing cracks me up. And I realized that I never introduced Kaleb in a really strange way. . . He joined the blog many months ago and I have yet to give him an introduction.
Attention! Everyone meet Kaleb, Aka Mr. K, aka Kale, aka Kalie (haha, don't try it), aka "really really smart guy", aka "Big Daddy Smack-Down"
But you can call him "Herbert" if you want. It doesn't really matter.
Yeah, Kano, I suppose I could respond. But I would rather actually see Faith at school and tell her how everything went. You know I keep my online social life to a minimum. And yeah, if anyone calls me "Herbert," I will knock their lights out. Unless they're a girl. In which case I will grimace and respond kindly. Noblesse oblige, don't ya know.
ReplyDeleteWell Herbert,
ReplyDeletei think you stole that last phrase from a very good friend of mine, "don't ya know?" Rob, why don't you tell us about the significance of herbert's initials as ther pertain to those of other persons. Herbert, why don't you name rob? how about Leroy. i like it. How about you, or you faith? any thoughts...
Kano, are you becoming good friends with that soul of noblesse oblige himself, Bertram Wooster?! If so, that's awesome!! Yeah, if herbert were my name, my initials would spell HAT. Not happenin. And I don't know anyone whose initials would match up to those as well as the person Rob pointed out so astutely. Leroy? I kind of like it, actually. Except I'll call him Leroy Brown. You know, the baddest man in the whole . . . down. . . town? Badder than old king kong, meaner than a junkyard dog? That Leroy Brown. Very nice, T-Diddy! By the by, you have been called K-dog before. JHugh Cool Dog gave you that name.
ReplyDelete