I am not as smiley as Rob

I'm not Kaleb, but if I were him that is what I'd have to write. 

You see, my roommate (who titles posts in the manner I just imitated) and I got our checks from Moscow Hotel today for shoveling snow. I got two smiley faces on my envelope. Kaleb only got one. I think she's saying that I am twice as smiley as him. I must say, I am deeply flattered.

On the other hand, the smiley is a semicircle with two dashes. If you turn it over it makes the universal symbol for a mushroom. Perhaps she is saying that I am more "upside-down mushroom" than my otherwise highly esteemed roommate. In fact, I am twice the upside-down mushroom that he'll ever be. That really boosts my self-esteem. 

On yet another hand, (like from a three-handed alien or something) there could be some metaphorical meaning here.

Consider this:

1. A mushroom stinks sometimes if you kick it over (she could be telling us that our apartment stinks).

2. If you eat the wrong kind of mushroom you will die. But, if you eat the right kind of mushroom you will live (even though you just ate the wrong kind of mushroom; and that was almost fatally stupid) because it's an anecdote (hahaha). I think Kaleb is the wrong kind of mushroom.

3. Mushrooms are the favorite food of hobbits. Hobbits are half the size of humans (thus, called halflings). She could be saying that Kaleb is short (the size of a hobbit) but I am the size of two hobbits (like a normal human). The only thing I have to say is that she is a good two or three years late.

If I find out anything more about this highly puzzling situation I shall let you know.