I was ticked.

So Monday night I stayed up till 2:30 watching The Fifth Element. It's not that I just can't figure this movie out. It's that neither I nor Bruce Willis can figure it out, either. You can just see him getting more and more fed up throughout the movie. By the second to last scene, he's just disgusted. This from the guy who made Die Hard IV. His look said: "I didn't read the script, I just looked at all the zeros."
Seriously, though, that movie cannot figure out whether it's an action or a spoof. It would be a great spoof, but it takes itself way to seriously at all the wrong times. And it could be a decent sci-fi action movie (although there's too much Bladerunner in there), but the cinematography alone makes you laugh, much less the dialogue. MJov does do an excellent acting job (somehow), and everything else, all the casting, the costumes, the cinematography, even the plot, are geared for spoof. And then it was like the director changed his mind about 30 minutes into filming.
I turned off the TV and wondered that timeless question: "where can I go to get the last two hours of my life back?"