Our "Where you people at"-map no longer looks like it has a nasty case of the chicken pox. Although I am happy that it's feeling better, I am a little sad that you can no longer see the various locations of our visitors on its diseased skin. It just shows a measly eight visits in the United States. Oh well. At least now we can see better where new blotches are going.

Also, you may have noticed that our hit counter is down. I know many of you are distraught right now with thoughts of all the hypothetical donuts you will miss out on (we were getting close to 7000 hits). It was about this time last year that Kaleb decided to not give out Krispy Kreme donuts on a monumentous hit count landmark. Alas, we are going to have to cancel that tradition.

Retroactive "hypothetical donut" award

That's right folks. We've let the great 4000 pass us by. Even though we haven't posted in a fortnight, somehow you are still visiting us.

However, all is not lost. If you were paying really close attention (and were familiar with the rules of "Hypothetical Donut") then maybe you took a picture of it.

That would be awesome. If you did, then you get like two hypothetical donuts (because you've gone above and beyond the call of flabbergastetry).

Another hypothetical fattening prize

That's right, you could be the next recipient of a famous (though as yet, hypothetical) "flabbergasted" doughnut or cup of coffee. Just present incontrovertible proof that you were the 3,000 visitor (or the closest one to that beautiful number) to our blog.

90 hits from the mark

Only 90 hits away, keep your eyes on the prize loyal readership.

Two THOUSAND hittarinis

At this time, we are approximately 300 hits away from being at the wonderful round number of 2000. I would like to announce that the same contest applies for this, our second, milestone. If you are an Idahoan Muscovite personage and you have the extreme fortune of being the two-thousandth hitter I will do one of several things:

If you are a dude I will give you some of my excellent advice about how to become a prodigious pogo stick jumper. For your information, this type of skill is highly attractive to the ladyfolk. Or, I'll get you something from "Wheatberries."

If you are a lady I will ask you to stop hitting on us, because that's too funny to pass up. Then, I will buy you whichever coffee you want at "Sister's Brewery." Or, you also still have the "Wheatberries" option.

If you are from and live in my hometown, then I will get you something good from either Jay's Bakery or the Milton Bakery. You choose, and your coolness will be determined by which you choose.

If you don't live in either of these great places, then I will do a post on a topic of your choice (within reason) and make it as ridiculous as I possibly can.