Don't wake me. . .

I plan on sleeping in. I am almost sick of talking about the late election (even though I really haven't that much), and I am definitely sick of hearing about it. This whole election has put a finer point on something that's been developing for years. Americans put too much hope in elections. Christians put too much hope in Republicans. And of course Democrats are now putting too much hope in change. Isn't that what we've been hearing for so long? Hope for America. Vote For Change.

I'm hoping President Obama will change our minds. I think that he will show Americans that their love affair with change is in reality a love affair with death, and it is certainly nothing new. I think some people will become disillusioned with the savior they elected, and come to know the Savior who elected them.

I think a lot of good will come from this election, but we won't see most of it for a good four years. So, wake me up in four years please.

Rob's got a confession to make. . .

I've already confessed this to several of my classmates, but I'd like to come out before everyone as a "non-voter" in this '08 election. I've got several reasons:

1) I don't mean to be fatalistic, but is this not a sinking ship? What's the use of moving a few marbles around in the hull?

b) Alas, I'm an isolated college student that doesn't even own a TV

γ) I was too lazy to register absentee

So, there you have it peoples. Please don't blame the outcome of this election on me
(*cough* MPK). My tiny little vote would have done hardly anything; you are apparently laboring under the delusion that this is a democracy.

I was very, very wrong, and will be again

And I admit it. That's all she wrote folks. No lawsuits or riots, at least not yet. Obama, like CNN predicted, lapped McCain. And yes, I am a false prophet in every sense of the word. Almost every state I named to go McCain went Obama. It makes me laugh. 

Well, it's been fun. I am actually kind of ambivalent about the whole imbroglio now. The Obamessiah has conquered, and socialism will be the order of the day, but is anything new under the sun? Doubt it. 

You can tell a person is insane by the fact that they try the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, a wise man once said. Well, here goes some insanity. I'm predicting again. Ready? Good. 

Hillary Clinton resigns her senator-ship to be Secretary of State for Obama. J-Bide then mysteriously disappears within the next 20 months. I'm gonna go with plane crash. Of course, there's always the possibility that a Klanner shoots the man J Gibbs has called the first half-white president. Or both. I can't say I'd be surprised at either. 

UPDATE: Curtis has brought up the interesting question of the stock market. He calls a collective dive. I say no such luck. We've just voted in the first democrat in 8 years, the first (half-)black president ever, and New York is a blue state. Hillary's the governor, and the Dutch Reformed guys upstate sure didn't choose her. I say the market jumps maybe 250 to 300 points tomorrow alone. It'll shallow out the next few days, but people are excited - especially Democrats with money. Worldwide we'll see repercussion climbs and also climbs of the markets on their own. Europe wants this man. 

ANOTHER UPDATE: In this post I say some pretty heavy things about democratic political figures. I have great respect for Pres-elect Obama. I honestly do. His rhetoric and his intelligence won this race. When I talk about potential assassinations, I do not want or encourage this. I'm just saying that if the man goes into the Deep South, some crazy idiot is bound to take a pot shot at the first black President. 

I play the prophet

Tomorrow, around 8 or 9 PM CST, the major news media is going to realize that this is a much closer race than anyone wants to say. States like Idaho, New York, Kansas, and Oklahoma will go exactly as polled. CNN's predictions, though, that Obiden will lap McPalin on electoral votes is just dang ridiculous. Virginia will not go to Obama, and neither will Montana or North Dakota. I'm having trouble seeing Washington going that way as well. I think Palin will swing a large portion. North Carolina is another easy shot for the Reds. We may have another state (a la New Hampshire in y2k) that's up in the Blue Northeast that ends up swinging over. The big problems will, as always, lie in the swing states. What will be interesting though, is that this election will do roughly what the 2000 election did. Ohio and Pennsylvania will be split between Dems and Reps. Ohio will again go to the Red and Pennsylvania Blue. The battle will end up in Florida, like it always seems to, and this is where Wolf Blitzer will get all shrill and flustered. 

All of a sudden he and the rest of the "best political team in the frippin universe"™ will realize that their polls were wrong. Here's the thing about Florida, Alabama, and Georgia: more than half of the people who will vote for the Republicans no matter who is running are the working class heroes that anarchist musicians love to sing about and then love to hate come November. They are the trailer-living, gun toting, beer drinking rednecks who would hang up on any pollster in the world. But they'll show up tomorrow, and Wolf Blitzer and Anderson "The Grease" Cooper will shake their heads in sadness, and swear blue streaks on and off of cats when commercial breaks come. 

Come 12 am on Nov. 5th, we'll be no closer to a result. This one will take days, more likely weeks. The battle will start in the courts, and we'll see how it goes from there. It will be quite interesting to see how Charlie Crist (FL governor), a democrat, will react when his sponsor John McCain (they have a long track record together) and his party's nominee are both fighting over his state's votes. It'll be a very amusing couple of weeks

N.B. I have made at least two dozen controversial claims unfounded on any sort of real data except my own, limited experience. Most of this is sheer conjecture. But I do really think it's what will happen. May God, as Pastor Wilson said this Sunday, give us mercy and not justice. 

I dip my big toe in the dungpit that is the 2008 election

Alright people. Open poll. Put in the comments who you will try to make the most powerful person in the world come November 4 and why.*

If you feel like it, try to convince me to agree with you. I'll be voting in what is arguably the biggest swing state in the country, the Sunshine State of Florida itself. I'm also trying to figure out whether I'm going to write in "No" for President (as the right Reverend Rob Hadding is doing), or "Stephen Colbert" (for reasons that should be easily visible - namely, the sheer beauty of voting for Colbert).

Oh, and if your name is Trey (or even if it isn't), feel free to rant and rave about whom you hate the most in this election. Just attempt to avoid profanity/obscenity as much as possible.

*NB - I don't actually think that the President of the United States is the most powerful man in the world, but he's close enough. Search out your beef with me elsewhere.