I am 80 hours and 41 minutes from home

So I wanted to post again, mainly so I had something to do besides homework. And I have the attention span of a drunk 2 year old right now, so we'll be doing another several random points of information that hopefully inform and start to entertain.

1. Over the last two nights, I have got 7 hours of sleep. There have been more than 120 ounces of soda involved, which doesn't sound like much until you realize that that translates to more than 600 milligrams of caffeine. Now I don't know much, but since I can't hold my hands steady right now, I'm gonna say that it's a little imbalanced. As I slurp away on my Wheatberries fountain drink.

2. This makes me laugh.

3. I have "errands" to "run" for the first time in my life. I mean, of course I've made a grocery run for my mom, I've picked up drinks for parties, I've even made trips for the sole purpose of banking. But I have a to do list which involves cleaning out fridges, buying Christmas gifts, discussing thermostats with building supers, etc.

4. I'm not sure what to make of this. Apocalypse: yeah. Nic Cage: heck no. I do, however, know what to make of this. And that is: frippin amazing.

5. Thom Yorke has the voice of an angel.

6. Jon Tollefson's poetry does, indeed, make the English language look like a cat. One whose fur he strokes the wrong way, just to watch the fireworks. And those fireworks make me laugh great peals of laughter.

7. You know you've been up north for too long when 17 seems balmy.

8. Last night I think I caught 30 minutes of sleep doing Latin flashcards; like thirty seconds each time I changed slides. I learned so very much.

9. Two days left, people (sorry, Jeremy). Let's Stoke these bad boys.

I catch the general public up

So it's finals week for most of the collegiate world, and we are no exception. While I have plenty of work left to do and it's pretty early, I thought I'd take a sec and update everybody on what's been going on. 

1) Not to toot my own horn, but so far I'm batting 1000 on my movie predictions. The Day The Earth Stood Still got panned so badly it made Twilight look good. 

2) I think if I nail every one of my prophecies regarding upcoming film, somebody should buy me lunch. 

3) So it was a little chilly tonight: 

4) This excites me to just short of no end. 

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

5) The word "epic" hasn't really been creeping into the general vocabulary of our class so much as violently hurling itself, leaving behind it a trail of devastation and laughter. 

6)  Rob and I will be running like madmen (at least, I will be) down the concourse of the New Orleans Airport towards nine or so frantically waving people in approximately 114 hours and 48 minutes. Not that I'm counting. 

7) I am very much looking forward to Tim Tebow running all over the OU defense and destroying that poor sap that got the Heisman. 

8) Blackberry waffles hot off the iron, topped with cold syrup, and flanked by pepper bacon and cheese scrambled eggs, is pretty much the ultimate brinner. 

I was very, very wrong, and will be again

And I admit it. That's all she wrote folks. No lawsuits or riots, at least not yet. Obama, like CNN predicted, lapped McCain. And yes, I am a false prophet in every sense of the word. Almost every state I named to go McCain went Obama. It makes me laugh. 

Well, it's been fun. I am actually kind of ambivalent about the whole imbroglio now. The Obamessiah has conquered, and socialism will be the order of the day, but is anything new under the sun? Doubt it. 

You can tell a person is insane by the fact that they try the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, a wise man once said. Well, here goes some insanity. I'm predicting again. Ready? Good. 

Hillary Clinton resigns her senator-ship to be Secretary of State for Obama. J-Bide then mysteriously disappears within the next 20 months. I'm gonna go with plane crash. Of course, there's always the possibility that a Klanner shoots the man J Gibbs has called the first half-white president. Or both. I can't say I'd be surprised at either. 

UPDATE: Curtis has brought up the interesting question of the stock market. He calls a collective dive. I say no such luck. We've just voted in the first democrat in 8 years, the first (half-)black president ever, and New York is a blue state. Hillary's the governor, and the Dutch Reformed guys upstate sure didn't choose her. I say the market jumps maybe 250 to 300 points tomorrow alone. It'll shallow out the next few days, but people are excited - especially Democrats with money. Worldwide we'll see repercussion climbs and also climbs of the markets on their own. Europe wants this man. 

ANOTHER UPDATE: In this post I say some pretty heavy things about democratic political figures. I have great respect for Pres-elect Obama. I honestly do. His rhetoric and his intelligence won this race. When I talk about potential assassinations, I do not want or encourage this. I'm just saying that if the man goes into the Deep South, some crazy idiot is bound to take a pot shot at the first black President. 

I am in da haus, jah?

Below are four videos from the YouTube. If you're an acquaintance of mine or Rob's, odds are you've heard phrases from any or all of these thrown around some. If, Lord help you, you're a friend of either of us, you just thought we were overusing our own wit. Little did you know we're not even that clever, we just were quoting someone else's humor. So, there's one video below from the film Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead, and three from the same series of Volkswagen commercials. Oh, and those commercials will probably change your life. Just so you know . . .

Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead - The Questions Game



Volkswagen Golf GTi-Mk5: Commercial 1


Volkswagen Golf GTi-Mk5: Commercial 2


Volkswagen Golf GTi-Mk5: Commercial 3

I'm telling you to wait, because this gets amazing

Okay, so a little background. If you don't know who Chuck Norris is, you need to do one of the following immediately: a) Get out more or 2) Go here and learn. For the record, he's a political conservative. Sorry, did that catch you off guard? I didn't think so.

So. Recently I've been surfing the internets trying to find the company that publishes a book I have to cite in my Rhetoric Term Paper. At said company's website, something in the lower left corner catches my eye. This is where it gets amazing. First, the title.
Black Belt Patriotism
Okay. What the heck? I'm speechless. Did someone let the 15 year old homeschooled boy try to write a book? What happened here?

Then I saw and understood the picture.
I don't know if you can tell, but that is, in fact, an American flag on his left sleeve. Priceless.

Yes, folks, Walker Texas Ranger has finally told you how to be a patriot if you don't want yourself roundhoused. But what could such a fount of knowledge have to write about? Let's see the 5 issues which Chuck says are important enough that he had to write about them.

1. Immigration and securing our borders
2. Winning the culture war for the sake of our children,
3. Triumphing in the war on terrorism
4. Tackling fiscal irresponsibility—both in government and at home.
5. Battling the problem of widespread obesity

If you did not laugh out loud at number five, you have no soul. Or shake your head in befuddled sorrow. I can accept that.

I gave a great big sigh of relief

The world gets a reprieve! Turns out that yours truly predicted exactly what was going to happen with the old CERN project. Remember? Okay, well, maybe not exactly. But the problem turns out to have been the "hi-tech version of a soldering joint to link the two stretches of cable together." I said it before, I said it now, and I'll say it again. You gotta love it when a multi-billion dollar science-fair project gets sidelined because some random intern or highly skilled welder didn't want to miss his Manchester United game. Well, looks like the good old earth'll be around till 2009.

Animal Rights

"Animal Rights" has always been one of my pet issues, hahahaha. But seriously now, these animals need some rights.

FACT: Animals can't vote

FACT: Animals don't have the right to free speech (suppose, for example, that a parrot tried to say something other than "Polly Want a Cracker?)

FACT: If I were an animal, I'd shoot myself - if only I had the right to bear arms.

This news video, gets at the heart of the issue.

NB: This video is an "Onion" news article. As with many other "Onions" there is some profanity, and some suggestive commercials at the end. The main video is completely harmless but the 20 sec. after it has a few words (or rather one phrase in particular) that aren't nice. Enjoy.


Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement?