In defense of Drunkenness (and hypocrites)

It's supposedly common knowledge that the world is full of hypocrites. Very few people actually "practice what they preach." Incidentally, it's thought that the church has an inordinate number of hypocrites. When in fact, what the Church has is an inordinate number of people who have something to preach.

Now would be a good time to explain that I mainly chose this title for the sake of sensationalism. You can relax, I'm not really going to defend drunkenness. In fact, no one is. Out of all the inebriates this stressful world has produced, I have never heard of one of them defending their drunkenness. And this brings me to my real point. For those outside of the church, if they can't preach what they practice then they have nothing to preach. There's no standard beyond their own lifestyle. Hypocrites don't even make sense in this context.

So, let's hear no more of this nonsense that the Church is full of hypocrites. The Church is full of saints, and the hypocrites are there because they want to look like them.

"Empty spaces fill me up with holes" - stupidest beginning line ever (courtesy of the Backstreet Boys)

I sent some e-mails to myself and they ended up in my junk mail. What up with that, huh?

What I think. . .

Say all the bad things you want about McCarthy, but he's got his own "ism" and his own "ites."

(By the way, this is the sort of thing that would usually go onto facebook as a status message, but I recently deactivated my account. So there might be some "status-ish" posts. I hope you don't mind).

Our "Where you people at"-map no longer looks like it has a nasty case of the chicken pox. Although I am happy that it's feeling better, I am a little sad that you can no longer see the various locations of our visitors on its diseased skin. It just shows a measly eight visits in the United States. Oh well. At least now we can see better where new blotches are going.

Also, you may have noticed that our hit counter is down. I know many of you are distraught right now with thoughts of all the hypothetical donuts you will miss out on (we were getting close to 7000 hits). It was about this time last year that Kaleb decided to not give out Krispy Kreme donuts on a monumentous hit count landmark. Alas, we are going to have to cancel that tradition.

Another update on my movements

Hello people,

If you are from Moscow, ID please know that I'm already missing you people. If you are from Pensacola, Fl I hope that we can hang on the beach. And if you aren't from either of those places move as soon as possible, because those places are the bomb-diggity.

Guess what? I now have a job on the beach. Faced with an option of being:

1. Unemployed in Greenland

2. Got a job on the friggin' beach

. . . I choose the latter option. You can drool if you want but it's not really as good as it sounds. It isn't that great being on the beach if you are stuck in a hot kitchen. It's a job, is what it is. A job is a job (even if it's on the beach). Anyway, it's a lovely place called "DJ's Beach Cafe." If you are ever there stop by and give me a shout.

Scariest word in the English language. . .

Oops [!]

Usually accompanied with an exclamation point when it is written,* "oops" has long been considered the scariest word in the English language. At just four letters it packs a mighty punch. Although, its true strength can only be measured by the context in which it is uttered, "oops" is never a good thing to hear.


Close cousins to oops [excluding vulgarities]:
Whoops
Whoopsies
Whoopsiedaisies
Crud bucket
Shucks
We're in a tight spot
Did I do that?


*Depending on the enormity of the disaster. If it's a fairly harmless mistake, such as when a few innocent hairs are plucked out of existence, then only one is necessary. However, if it is a disaster of nuclear proportions, two or even three exclamation points may be necessary to convey the utter badness of the situation.