I just don't think people understand

So here's the headline I saw a few days ago:
U.N. alarmed by Lebanon rocket attacks on Israel
I am intrigued by this. Because, you see, it's so ridiculously obvious. Are there rocket attacks that don't alarm people? I would hate to see them. I mean really, how boring would that attack be?

We continue reading, though

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

You've got to be kidding me. Just when Kofi Annan steps down, we get a man named
Ban Ki-moon? We serve a marvelously funny God, my friends

expressed alarm on Wednesday over reports of Lebanese rocket attacks against Israel and urged all parties in the region to avoid actions that could make a bad situation worse. "That is ... a very alarming, very disturbing and troubling situation," Ban told reporters

Again with the alarm. Apparently General Ban hasn't been told that this sort of thing has been happening since the Muslims invaded like 1,000 years ago. And now he's asking Israel not to retaliate. Someone needs to give the poor man a briefing. Retaliation is my Israeli neighbor's middle name. Not really, but you see my point. Revenge is something they are good at. Their ancestors avenged the rape of their sister by convincing an entire city of men to circumcise themselves, and then came in on the third day "when they were sore" and butchered the lot of them.

Ban said that U.N. peacekeepers in Lebanon, known as UNIFIL, were investigating the rocket attacks launched from inside Lebanon. The incident took place on the 19th day of Israel's offensive against Hamas militants in the Gaza strip.

Tough, that one. Israel fights Hamas militants. All of a sudden, rockets start
appearing out of Lebanon, a known supporter and harbor for Hamas militants.
Careful now, don't think about this too hard or you might get a headache.

Security sources in Lebanon said five rockets were fired, though two fell in Lebanon.

So these guys aren't just idiots because they're fighting against one of the most militant nations on the planet, they're also idiots in the traditional sense of the word. They can't even point and shoot.

"Hamas rocket attacks must stop and at the same time I have been condemning
the excessive military operation by the Israelis," he told an earlier news
conference in Cairo . . .

Apparently we're going to be forgetting that whole part where Hamas stole the land from Israel. Just like we forgot about Hitler annexing Austria. Because that worked so well.

The Hamas-run Health Ministry in Gaza said 1,010 Palestinians had been killed
and 4,700 wounded by Israel so far. The Israelis say on their side 10 soldiers,
and three civilians hit by cross-border Hamas rockets, have been killed.

The moral of this story, kids, is: don't mess with Israel. 13 deaths compared to 1,010?! That's absolutely incredible.

Here's what I don't think people get. People don't understand that God's promises to Israel aren't finished. If God is going to redeem the nation of Israel as He has promised, He's got to have something to redeem.* In the Six Day War in 1967, Israel was attacked by Syria, Jordan, Iraq, and Egypt. They were outnumbered almost 2 to 1 in infantry, 3 to 1 in the air, and 3 to 1 in tanks. By the end of those six days, Israel had had 800 men killed, 2500 wounded, and 15 captured. The four Arabic nations had lost 13,000 men, 8,000 wounded, and 6,000 prisoners. Israel lost 46 aircraft as compared to more than 400 aircraft. Don't mess with the Lord's chosen. David didn't kill Saul even though he was unfaithful, because Saul was God's chosen one. I can think of no other nation on earth that is that small, surrounded by that many enemies, and that has lasted for that long. So, as the eloquent Pastor Hadding has said on many an occasion, I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. 

*This does, in fact and in most every way, represent what I believe. It may or may not represent what Rob believes, we haven't discussed it yet. Something tells me we will shortly. 

I'm telling you to wait, because this gets amazing

Okay, so a little background. If you don't know who Chuck Norris is, you need to do one of the following immediately: a) Get out more or 2) Go here and learn. For the record, he's a political conservative. Sorry, did that catch you off guard? I didn't think so.

So. Recently I've been surfing the internets trying to find the company that publishes a book I have to cite in my Rhetoric Term Paper. At said company's website, something in the lower left corner catches my eye. This is where it gets amazing. First, the title.
Black Belt Patriotism
Okay. What the heck? I'm speechless. Did someone let the 15 year old homeschooled boy try to write a book? What happened here?

Then I saw and understood the picture.
I don't know if you can tell, but that is, in fact, an American flag on his left sleeve. Priceless.

Yes, folks, Walker Texas Ranger has finally told you how to be a patriot if you don't want yourself roundhoused. But what could such a fount of knowledge have to write about? Let's see the 5 issues which Chuck says are important enough that he had to write about them.

1. Immigration and securing our borders
2. Winning the culture war for the sake of our children,
3. Triumphing in the war on terrorism
4. Tackling fiscal irresponsibility—both in government and at home.
5. Battling the problem of widespread obesity

If you did not laugh out loud at number five, you have no soul. Or shake your head in befuddled sorrow. I can accept that.

Poll

Well, It's a tie between God and Chuck Norris. It looks like they're going to have to duke it out to decide who is the real winner. Although, someone ought to warn Chuck Norris that he'll probably end up with a dislocated hip; that is if he does not get totally annihilated (God is one tough dude).